Blah...I have a psych research paper to do.

But I mostly pissed today away, in terms of that.

How come it's only my second day back from spring break, and I'm already tired again.

Roommate is going psycho..... She has a houseplant now, and was sick over break, and never watered it, and it's looking a bit sickly. I said, maybe it was because it didn't get any sunlight, not the water aspect, because she has it over where it's hard to pull the drapes open that far, and even when they are, there's a opaque part right there. She got SO mad at me..... I don't know if she thought it was some oblique comment on how I like the curtains open, and how she closes them more, or what, but she was totally mad. I'm getting tired of living with her, because I never know when I'm going to hit one of these landmines, there's never any warning.

And I took this one just for the hell of it (and on the off chance I'd get Ewan, which I didn't), because I've never seen Trainspotting.


Which Trainspotting Character Are You?

Which Grunge Band Are You?

I got Hole first, and went back to fiddle with my answers until I got nirvana ;)

Oh, I'm kind of semi-excited. I think I might've made a friend on my floor. She said hi, and we ended up talking, and she said she likes the music I blast out into the hallway, which I think is cool. She's also from Alton, IL, "The most haunted place on the Mississippi." How cool is that? Though it can't compare with where I live, "The Birthplace of the Steakburger." And she's overly into England like me, too.

In fact, I'd jsut come back from a meeting about my trip to england. We watched a video on the London Underground. Only it was disconcerting, because I kept getting "Underground" by Ben Folds Five in my head. Just like Philosophy class is disconcerting, because I get "Philosophy" by ben folds five in there. Only, I don't go to philosophy class. This is largely because the woman reads her handouts out loud in class every day.

"The plan was to burn up where the air is clear
we'd all wear our visors down
an arcwelder's spark in the atmosphere
not this man-sized hole in the ground
And I never even get to go down, down in flames...."

I also found some other interesting stuff. Like...if I search Phoe Phoe-chan, I get a link to my blog--the archive of the post where I'm talking about puking in front of the bookstore. Yea...that's what I want to be known for :P

The rest of the links for phoe phoe-chan: 12 year old Anime enthusiasts. That's what I get for having a -chan on my name.

I'm top for most of my nicknames: good.

Of the four links that show up when I do a search on my proper name: 2 are ACS assignments I've done, 1 is a page that lists me as an honorable mention in a scholastic bowl tournament that was at LEAST two years ago :P Last one: Some wooster history thing, it frightens me a bit.

Results for a search on "Gavin McLeod," the name of my RPG character:

Many for this one guy who apparently had that name and played captain of the loveboat
Many by this one Gavin who writes on UFO's

and the two funniest:

An entry in a guestbook:

Name: Gavin McLeod
Comments: If anyone has a chance, could you look around over by the where the grills were. I lost my clarinet reed. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I was by the grills.

I went and posted my own comment:

Name: Phoe
Comments: I did a random search on the name Gavin McLeod, because it's one of my RPG characters names, and came up with your page. I sure hope the poor guy finds his clarinet reed.

the other funny blurb:

Submitted date: 06/26/98 23:54:17
I usually login as Amis
In the real(?) world, I'm called Gavin Mcleod
I'm 25 years old.
Sexually, I'm of a Vorlon persuasion.
Sign: psi corps
My stomping grounds are texas
When I can tear myself away from the chat room, I work as a wanderer
No, I'm not married.

He's still single??????

Sorry, that's mean. With all the RPing I do, I can't critisize :P

AND, she has a photo of Sport Jesus up. If only I had thought of that....

Maybe there should be an angry white girl webring or something :P We could be a category in Altavista, me and my doppleganger....

Wah....I'm so depressed. There is another angry white girl weblog. AND she has her own domain. And she's angrier than me. Or else has a dirtier mouth. Frankly, I'm ashamed.

And, she's cooler than me because:

1) She's got a subtitle. No dumb "Angry White Girl Blog" she's "Angry White Girl: Angst, Lust, and General Bitchery."
2) She's got a picture of someone giving the finger. I plan to put up a picture of the finger. Given by the "Robert G. Bone Hand of Friendship," but a finger's a finger!
3) She says she gets most of her material from her parents. I get most of my material from my parents! I even refer to it as material!
4) Her AIM is angrywhitegirl. I wish MY AIM were angrywhitegirl!

Pluses? I think I got here first, her archives only go back to 2002. Nyah nyah!

What Pattern Are You?

according to the laziness test at TheSpark.com, I am:

82% Lazy

people lazier than you (8%)
people just as lazy as you (1%)
people less lazy than you (90%)

Okay....creepy..... I must not have gone with my real instincts the first time, because I picked different colors, and this one's much more accurate:

You are the sort of person that needs a sense of Harmony in your life and surroundings if you are to function at full potential. You instinctively avoid people and situations that generate either conflict or stress, partly because in the past you seem to have had far more than your fair share of both. Wisely, you seem to have taken the decision to control the pattern and parameters of your life - both in the present and in the unfolding Future. You are a very sensitive person - and if other persons could connect with this it would be to their advantage and your well-being.

Being impulsive and irritable, your desires and needs are paramount. You do things with insufficient thought - with little regard to the consequences that may follow. As a consequence of this attitude, you may be experiencing stress and conflict.

Matters are not progressing as well as you would have hoped and you are having to make concessions but you still believe that your goals are realistic - it's just that people can't seem to see your point of view. You know what you want but you'll only accept suggestions under duress.

Whatever has caused the situation...you just don't seem to be able to sustain or maintain relationships as you would wish to. What you really seek is to be able to develop a relationship with someone with whom you can truly share: Love, Serenity, Peace and Quiet. But you are a very demanding person and it is your nature that leads to disquiet and discord...you are like the tide,.. flotsam and jetsam...One minute you experience "highs" and a few moments later "lows". This obviously will introduce discord into any relationship and it is the demanding attitude, the ideal state you desire, is unable to develop. Despite the urge to gratify your natural desires, you impose a considerable self-restraint on your instincts in the belief that this demonstrates your superiority and raises you above the common herd. You are extremely critical of everything that is presently going on around you...and you find it difficult to listen to, or to take advice from anyone. You enjoy the original, the ingenious and the subtle, and you strive to ally yourself with others of similar tastes.

You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from a close and harmonious relationship.

Hmm.... here's my profile. Not sure whether it's very accurate or not. Some parts are truer than others.....



You are tending to pursue your objectives with concentrated intensity and it would seem that whatever obstacles may come into your path - you will stick to your guns and will not allow yourself to be deflected from your purpose. You are striving to achieve recognition and what is more - you deserve it

You are open to suggestion and prepared to try anything once. You "need to be needed" and what is perhaps more important ... you "need to need." You can only feel close to a person or persons when you feel you can trust them ... but this trust needs to be proven to you before you will commit yourself.

We are all conditioned by our environment...and as such we respond to peoples perception of ourselves...but you feel that conditions are not right at this time...You are experiencing certain reservations that are precluding you to develop a particular relationship, business-wise or personal, that is being offered...It is 'make your mind up time'...The decision is all yours... but whatever decision you make...it will be the right one.

You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all ... The existing situation is not of your liking. You have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others ... and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of "total surrender". This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome; You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able can you maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence "you need to be needed" ... and at the same time... .."you need to need".

You really like doing what you do and more than that, you like yourself. Your attitude to work and to life is that "If its not fun - then don't do it" You want to be liked and respected, not for who you are but , for what you are.. and it seems to be working..


Colorgenics

Kind of mad--Monica never called back. So instead of her whore, I'm her cast off, penniless whore.

Oh, and don't forget bitter. I'm very bitter.

In AIM form, as I told it to another, cos I don't want to type it again, even though in my haste I spelled some crap wrong:

Why am I pissed at my mom?

She got all on my case for having one stinking piece of string cheese after dinner, saying I was going to get fat and then all nagging me "aren't my dinners good enough? I'm not going to cook anymore if this is what I get." THEN, earlier she all wanted me to turn my music down (because she was in the kitchen listening to her LOUD tv because she's going deaf, and the kitchen is near the living room where I was and apparently the music was annoying her, but I FREAKING GOT THERE FIRST, and she asked me to turn it down like hours later, so what was her problem before? And, I had to have it up that loud so her stupid TV wouldn't distract me, because music helps me study, and the only other place I can do it while listening to music is my bedroom, and I always fall asleep then
Phoemeister: so anyway, the woman gets annoyed at me for leaving stuff lie around, so after dinner she was pissed at me for leaving my crap there, but the only reason I left it there was because she forced me out of the living room so quickly in the first place

I saw her kicking my scrunchy, and asked her not to kick my stuff, and she all was like telling me I was hassling her and wouldn't leave her alone and crap, but I told her she was haslling me, but she kept interupting to HASSLE ME, so obviously it takes two to argue



So mad at the woman.... She makes living with her impossible. Yesterday she was all on my back to clean everything (hence my crap lying around being part of a sore subject). She told me to clean all my crap I had lying around the family room and living room, and she all started in on how I wasn't that messy before I started living with my current roommate, and how I should clean my room too, it's a pig sty and how that's gotten worse since I got my roommate and her messy ways rubbed off on me.

What the HELL? My parents have been calling my room a pig sty all my life. Where the hell does she get off blaming yet another thing on my roommate/ She doesn't like anyone my sis or I get close to. She hates sis's fiancee, thinks sis's fiancee is STEALING sis from her, convinced that sis's last boyfriend's mom wanted to steal sis. Liked my old roommate (that I hated), but is constantly picking on my new one (that I like) about the most bizarre things.

1) Moving was roommate's fault. Then, when I finally yelled at her enough that she knew better than to say it to me anymore, blamed my standing up to her on Zoloft. Geez, she couldn't possibly be WRONG ever, huh?
2) Roommate kept her stereo that we BOTH used, on my side because I had room, and she didn't. Mother was always making comments on that.
3) And now this. She KNOWS my room is a mess and I only occaisionally clean it, and it's good for awhile, and gets crappy again. Right now: not even the worst it's ever been, even recently. It was AWFUL before I cleaned it christmas break. At least there's a path right now. And I'm 20. It's an awful transparent power trip to make me ("if you don't do it before you leave, I will." Of course going through all my private crap as she goes), at 20 years old, clean my room, which I'm pretty sure she hasn't made me in years. All because she's got some bee in her bonnet or up her ass or something. She's being a real jerk.

And school sucks too. I'm getting sick of living with my roommate, too. I need my own damn room, I'm tired of being called a control freak because I don't like to stay up later than 12 on weeknights, especially when I think SHE'S the damn control freak for 1) Never letting me listen to my music out loud, no matter what she's doing, no matter how soft I have it 2) Making me close the damn drapes every damn time she has to change (which is surprisingly often) because there is NO freaking way even the most dedicated of pervs can see us undress anyway, and it's a pain to do the drapes, and it's dark inside then, and after I pull them she dawdles FOREVER before letting me open them again. 3) Pretty controling about the TV. Won't let me watch Star Trek. Makes fun of me for liking star trek. The woman only owns like every piece of Harry Potter paraphanalia ever invented, went to the movie opening night (stood me up opening night) wearing a Harry Potter hat. And won't let me make fun of her.

So, yes. I DO think YOU're an ASS and don't want to share the same house with you, and YOU're an ANAL CONTROL FREAK, and I wouldn't mind sharing a house or appartment or something with you, but living in a tiny hamster cage sized dorm room with you is HELL. Though you're better than the AIM freak who used to keep me up till 4, but I do feel nostalgic the way she let me play my music once in awhile.

I'm kind of in a general depression lately. I'm home for spring break, and it sucks. But then, school isn't much better... I compare the two, but just get depressed.

1. Food. You'd at least think the food would be better at home. Nope. Since I don't wake up early enough for breakfast, I only get two meals a day, half of them being, the last three days: Spam. And now we're out of spam. School: I eat bagel, this one chicken sandwich, and potato bar and a smoothie almost every day. I should start taking vitamins.

2. Activities. Computer-dial up internet, the network connection at home has spoiled me. Plus my mom's on all the time. Music-usually I can listen forever, but haven't felt like it since I've gotten home, not that I have a huge selection since most of my cd's are at school. TV-no cable, like at school. Pluses: no.....errr.....less..... homework. Yes, the bastards assigned me work over break. Minuses: NO ONE to hang out with, unless you count the mother I actively avoid. I spend my days in a stupor. Not even getting money, I wasn't good enough to be Monica's whore over break apparently.

3. Social Life: accidntly covered that in activities.

I have to wonder what the point of my life is, really. I don't do anything there, I don't do anything here, and I hate it both places... Though the school will actually cook for me. That's unfair... I think I'm at the point where mom would let me cook if I actually made an effort, which I don't. I'm just like "well, there's still spam in the pantry somewhere...." And girl scout cookies. I've eaten a decent amount of girl scout cookies.

I was once a girl scout, y'know.

I stayed up till four in the morning last night.

That's what I get for reading a book with a serial killer in it the night before. How stupid am I? I KNOW that kind of crap freaks me out. I was just hoping they'd find the missing kids, I guess. Very disturbing book, Lost Boys by Orson Scott Card--if you ever plan to read the book, skip this post, because I'm giving away the ending.

This book gives me reason to be glad I don't want kids. Not only does the family's oldest kid get killed by a serial killer at the end, they've been living in this location for less than a year and: their little girl almost got molested, the kid that DID get killed was (psychologically) tortured for almost a whole school year by the psychotic second grade teacher, a crazy guy started hanging out naked outside of their house and got enough time alone with their second kid to have done something to him, their youngest is born with nervous defects that they don't even have any idea what they are, someone sends them a threatening letter, this crazy woman at the church starts having visions about the family and accosts one of the kids.....

I have enough troubles making sure no psycho does something to me, I' mvery glad I'll never have a little helpless person I'll have to keep safe, because it's impossible. Especially when they get big, and don't want your help. I guess that's kinda why my mom smothers me.... but I didn't get killed by a serial killer yet, so maybe she's done a good job.

Oh, and the MOST disturbing part of the book: none of the obviously crazy people (naked psycho, religious lady, child molester--also especially creepy because he never got caught, and is wandering around offering to babysit for people, psycho teacher--though I think it's sad no one discovered she was psycho for so long) was the one that killed him. It was this harmless old guy, and no one could tell...

And then, they decided to stay there. If they were real kids, I would feel sorry for their remaining ones....

I got this from Freelove, and I have to laugh:

And also, I have to plug my friend's new online Advice Column. She really needs people to go over there and ask her questions, otherwise it's kind of pointless. So go to:

ASK MINERVA

Now!

Oh, and for a class, I looked up the job outlook for the jobs I want with my Mass Communication major? And they're all like....."due to increasing automation.....you won't have a job when you graduate, sucker! NO jobs for you." Very depressing, if I do say so myself.

Oh, and according to this daydream thing we had to do in career choice, I'm going to live near London, and my workplace is going to be well-lit, and I'm going to have one of those short japanese tables where you sit on pillows instead of chairs.

Gah, I HAVE to blog about my stupid history midterm.....

First, the prof is a HARD grader, and almost made me hyperventilate by saying how far we were supposed to be at certain times, and I wasn't there, but then I ended up getting done early from rushing so much, and couldn't relaly go back and fix anything. My only consolation is my handwriting's horrible when I'm in a hurry, and the poor bastard has to read like 5 or 6 pages of it. Still have the other half, the part I was REALLY dreading, and still am dreading, on fri.

Plus, this guy just really makes me worry, because there's only two other grades in the entire class, and the first one I only got a 91 on, but was in the top five of the class, he's tight with grades. AND, I only got that 91 because I accidently heard the due date wrong, and got it done a week early, and MADE him read it and make comments (he didn't really want to), and I made extensive revision and I'm a pretty good writer anyway. What's he going to do to me on this midterm? I SWEAR we have a whole hour to answer one essay question next class period, and he's given us the questions, and they're so general I can't study for them properly, and I can't make a decent essay in one class period, and if he's giving us the whole class period, he must expect it to be decent.

It reminds me of this one teacher I had in highschool that I despised. The tests we'd take would be part objective, part one long essay. And it was an english class, so they cared about structure and style, but you had hardly any time to write the damned thing. (I don't mind writing essays if all they care about is the content, because I can SO spew out the proper content. But if they want it to be all pretty, after spewing it out right on the spot, they're psycho). So I'd get an A on all the other questions, but I'd flunk the essay, because the witch didn't happen to like my writing style (I HAVE had a few english teachers that actually do appreciate my writing, so I think she was just picky). So I'd get a C or D on the test, even though I'd KNOW what I was doing. I'm afraid this dude will do the same thing to me.....

Heh, after awhile, I didn't care anymore and would do half the essay on whatever it was sposed to be, and the other half an essay on why she shouldn't do this to us. She didn't appreciate that, though. I don't think this guy would either.

heh, and I'm sposed to be writing a philosophy essay right now (I haven't done any of the reading it's based on yet either) but I'd rather blog.

OH, and honors societies = extortionists. 60 dollars to join one, 40 dollars for another...... I really need to join some crap to pad my lame-ass resume, but I'm pooor, I'm a pooor college student saving up to go to England. Why the hell do they need to pump us for cash, we're already paying to go to damn college, I'm just lucky my parents are footing that bill.... But I'd think a lot of people are as broke as I am, or more so...... wah..

that is all.

I Am A: Neutral Good Elf Ranger Bard


Alignment:
Neutral Good characters believe in the power of
good above all else. They will work to make the world a better place, and will do
whatever is necessary to bring that about, whether it goes for or against whatever is
considered 'normal'.


Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are
generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic,
easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities
that other races frequently conccern themselves with. Elves are, effectively,
immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass
on to the next plane of existance.


Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the
elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.


Secondary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing,
dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money.
They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.


Deity:
Mielikki is the Neutral Good goddess of the forest and
autumn. She is also known as the Lady of the Forest, and is the Patron of Rangers. Her
followers are devoted to nature, and believe in the positive and outreaching elements
of it. They use light armor, and a variety of weapons suitable for hunting, which they
are quite skilled at. Mielikki's symbol is a unicorn head.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?

I'm depressed..... Trying to do two papers due tomorrow, a midterm tomorrow (with sucky questions and a prof stingy with good grades), a paper due friday....... And the main problem is I just can't make myself do it. I despise this crap. I tried to take a nap, but people kept interupting me.

Take the Monopoly Piece Quiz!

I'm tired. And I'm hungry. And I want to go home.

Know how tired I am? The guy at the potato bar today was like, "You look tired. Are you tired?" and I was like "yes."

And I'm depressed. I've been wanting to get up the nerve to talk to this guy in my Psych class for awhile, and I blew like two really good openings!

1) Some girl he was talking to was like "I'm tired." I wanted to be like, "You think you're tired? The guy at the potato bar today noticed I was tired, and said so." That would've been a witty comment, right? But I didn't want to like, interupt, and there was a video on, and I didn't want to draw the prof's attention to myself, especially since not five minutes before I was badgering the git because he wouldn't give me a point on a test that I DESERVE. DESERVE! but that's another story. Just believe me, i deserve it.

2) Then, at one point, he meowed. Out of nowhere. That's something I'd do. I was going to make a fart noise back, because I've been perfecting my fart noises in private with my roommate, because they come in handy as addendums to IBS jokes...... But I figured the prof would catch me. I mentioned it later to my roommate, and she said I should've woofed. If only I'd thought of woofing in time.

Yea, I'm a loser to obsess over this, but I REALLY need to start talking to people, I'm pretty sure my not talking to them is why I have hardly any friends and no guys interested in me. D'oh

Nothing to do today, yay.

I have to say that this last semester I have become even more disillusioned about school. Yesterday, I skipped a class right out, left during another, and left during a third one, after lying and saying I had a doctor's appointment.

And last semester, I hardly skipped at all... Man I hope I have classes I can stand in the future, because I really can't drop any more (like I have the last two semesters) if I want to graduate in some semblence of on time. And I want to leave this place as soon as possible.

And also, I have to plug my friend's new online Advice Collumn. She really needs people to go over there and ask her questions, otherwise it's kind of pointless. So go to:

ASK MINERVA

Now!

Okay, I've decided I'm a sick, sick person.

1) Someone built a snow penis on campus. I was really excited. I tryed to badger my roommate into letting me take a photo of her touching it, but she wouldn't. Then I was going to go down and try to get random bystanders to pose with it for five dollars. Then my roommate relented, and was going to take the photo of me doing it. But then the snow penis had been knocked down by then. I was SO sad, which is crazy. And afterwards, I had another thought, "Dammit, I could've pretended to lick the snow penis." But my roommate said it was too gross for her to photograph, so I gues seither way. I'm still depressed I was cheated out of a snow penis photo.

2) I have just got my FIFTH Ben Folds/Ben Folds Five CD. Now I know why my sister felt so lame when she racked up five Live. I spose there's sadder things. I could have all Backstreet Boys. I DO have a Spice Girls CD. (Bought when I was young, during a moment of vulerablitly, I swear!)

3) I just like headscrewing too much. Here's a log of an AIM message I had recently. Props to my partner in crime for helping me out on this one.



Phoemeister: hey
Chadd: hello
Phoemeister: hows things? Is that rash clearing up?
Chadd: Who is this?
Phoemeister: dammit. Steve said you wouldn
Phoemeister: 't remember me, but I thought he was lying
Chadd: umm
Phoemeister: wait, did steve tell you to pretend you didn't know me?
Chadd: Who is Steve?
Phoemeister: that's something steve would do
Phoemeister: You don't remember Steve?
Phoemeister: how can you not remember steve?
Chadd: Umm...
Chadd: You're scaring me
Chadd: lol
Phoemeister: Steve should've scared you. He's like 6'7" and wears this giant cowboy hat. I'd think you'd remember that
Chadd: um, just tell me who this is
Phoemeister: Jason
Chadd: Jason?
Chadd: Jason who?
Phoemeister: Yea..... Some guys call me "hound dog" but I'm assuming you wanted my proper name
Phoemeister: Jason Clark
Chadd: How would I know you?
Phoemeister: Are you sure you don't remember me? Or at least Steve?
Chadd: just remind me of where I'd know you from
Phoemeister: You know, that club.........
Chadd: club?
Chadd: What club?
Phoemeister: The Aquarium. With all those tacky fake fish hanging all over. Or was it the Pub II?
Chadd: aquarium?
Phoemeister: I can't keep clubs straight
Chadd: ummmmmmmm
Chadd: IRL?

Then, partner came online, and I was like, "Be Steve!" and she was like okay.

Partner: Hello there.
Chadd [10:46]: heya
Partner: So you're talking to Jason, huh?
Chadd [10:47]: Who is Jason??

Chadd: what city?

Partner: God, man, you should at least remember Jason!
Chadd [10:49]: ok if someone doesn't start telling me who JAson is I'm gonna' freak

Phoemeister: I can't remember. Steve and I travel a lot.......

I still can't understand.......why're you pretending like you don't know me?

Partner: Jason Clark!
Chadd [10:49]: where would I know him from?
Partner: At a club... er... I can't remember the name.
Chadd [10:50]: a...club? What city?
Partner: I think it was something to do with the sea or fish or something.

Phoemeister: I can't remember. Steve and I travel a lot.......

I still can't understand.......why're you pretending like you don't know me?
Chadd: because you're freaking me out...
Chadd: what was the name of this...aquarium?
Phoemeister: Well.....I admit it isn't every day you meet a midget and a really tall guy that hang out together, but you seemed cool with it at the time.....
Phoemeister: it's CALLED the aquarium, dude :P
Phoemeister: lol
Chadd: how long ago was this?
Phoemeister: Only like, two months ago

Partner: I'm not sure, I think it was somewhere on the West coast... though it might not've been - we get around.
Chadd [10:52]: Well this is beginning to freak me out, I need more details here

Chadd: where at, exactly?
Phoemeister: some club, dude.
Chadd: what do I look like then?
Phoemeister: You had this rash......
Phoemeister: and you told us your name was "Gene" and you were interested in a three way with us
Phoemeister: But we wanted to wait until that rash cleared up

Part: Well Jason's 4'10", red hair... he's really hairy.
I'm 6'8", blonde, kinda muscular.
I can't believe you dont' remember us!
Part:It was in December or soemthing.
Chadd [10:54]: what do I look like? Other than this Rash he's talking abuot?
Part: Or maybe November.... not sure... it's all a bit of a blur, lol.
Chadd [10:56]: umm, you are trying to convince me that I offered a threesome with two guys?

Chadd: um ok, wel that's incorrect
Chadd: because I've never had a rash in the past four to five months I had to bold that, and laugh, because it makes me think the poor boy HAS had a rash in the last year.
Chadd: and I've never been to a club
Chadd: and I'm straight
Chadd: very

Part: Pretty tall, dark hair, I think, but it was hard to tell as it was dark int he club, you know?

Phoemeister: Hey, I'm actually a woman that had a sex change four months ago, so it's kind of liiiiiike having sex with a woman, you said. You said you'd make an exception for me. And, you said you usually deny the rash, but our offer was just too good to pass up, but you wanted to inform us of the rash before we did anything
Chadd: ummm
Chadd: I've never met anyone with a sex change
Phoemeister: Except for me, duh
Chadd: um, no I've never met you
Chadd: because I've never met someone named Jason
Chadd: Clark
Phoemeister: and you offered to have dirty hot monkey sex with me and my life partner

Prt: Well Jason wasn't always a guy
Prt: Dude, are you trying to deny it?? Man, are you _sure_ you don't remember us?!

Phoemeister: Steve's telling you to pretend you don't know me, isn't he?

Chadd [10:58]: Umm, how old was I?
Prt: Well, dude, however old you were in December! You wouldn't say.

Chadd [10:59]: where do you live?
Prt: Miami

Chadd: um, I don't know Steve
Chadd: and I don't know you
Phoemeister: Are you sure? We're pretty memorable........I'm a hairy bastard. And short, for a guy (cos of the sex change) and Steve is TALL and wears this HUGE cowboy hat

Chadd [11:01]: ok you guys are freaking me out
Chadd [11:01]: I've never met any of you
Chadd [11:01]: and if I don't get some serious answers and some truths, I'm gonna' report you tw

Chadd: where are you guys at right now?
Phoemeister: Atlanta. We're in town visiting our friend Devo. He's interested in you, by the way. He's the main reaosn I'm asking if your rash's cleared up yet
Chadd: funny
Chadd: Your friend says you're in Miami
Phoemeister: Steve? Maybe he means we LIVE in Miami
Phoemeister: because we do. But we're visiting Devo
Phoemeister: HE lives in atlanta

Then, we decided to start leaving him alone, because we didn't want him to get partner's AOL account canceled.

Prt: Dude, I think we've got the wrong guy. If you had met us, you'd remember
Chadd [11:02]: Um I think so too
Chadd[11:02]: because...I'm very straight
Prt: Yeah, we're pretty memorable guys.
Chadd [11:03]: and you're honestly freaking me out now
Prt: Sorry man, this guy gave us this screen name to contact him. Must've lied!
Chadd [11:05]: umm
Chadd [11:05]: what's his screen name?
Prt: He said it was "____Chadd"... Maybe it's only one d

Chadd: I'm gonna' go vomit now
Phoemeister: Uhm.......why?

Chadd [11:05]: Yea...
Chadd [11:06]: so um...leave me alone because that is nasty, I am so very straight
Prt: Or maybe he did just lie.
Chadd [11:06]: how would he know me?
Prt: No, I mean maybe he just made up some random SN and it happened to be yours.
Prt: Anyway, sorry to bother you, man. If you hear from anyone mentioning Jason or Steve, then tell him that I'm having to use my friend's cousin's screen name at the moment.
Prt: See ya.

Phoemeister: Uhm.......why?
Chadd: because this is @#%$ nasty
Phoemeister: hey, I'm offended that you find my lifestyle "@#%$ nasty." What's "@#%$ nasty" is bigots like you!
Chadd: what's nasty is people randomly IMing me telling me to have threesomes with them
Phoemeister: We weren't TELLING you to. I honestly thought you were this guy we met at the aquarium who DID want a threesome with us, thank you very much, and apparently steve did too, cos he was IMing you.
Chadd: I have nothing wrong with you
Chadd: what I have wrong is being IMed like this
Chadd: it honestly scared me
Phoemeister: I still don't understand, though. I was SURE you were this guy who wanted a threesome with us *shrugs*

Number of times "Snow Penis" mentioned in this blog: 5

I'm tired.

If I choose death by cherry coke......304.18

Welp, I never liked mountain dew anyway.

Any drink could kill you

It would take the caffeine of 188.61818168 cans of mountain dew to kill me.

Dew Death Calculator -- find out how much it'd take you to die by dew

Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

I'm SO tired of my parents. Every goddamn time I'm the slightest bit irritable they pile on me instead of trying to be considerate. I'm SO mad at them right now. Every fucking time I get mad at them, they're like "Is it because of the Zoloft?" "Is it because you're off the Zoloft?" there's no fucking way I could get mad at them because they're being asses, of course.

My mom asks where Teddy (my sis's dog that they love more than me) got this one toy. I say my sister's boyfriends' family. But of course, since he has two families, I get chewed up because I'm not specific enough. My dad hounds me about it, and won't let it drop. My mom joins in.

Then they wonder why I get upset about it. "Is it going off the zoloft?" No, I fucking quit it like a month ago, and last weekend, when you jerks were actually acting decent for once, I was fine. So I do tell them the reason. "I'm a bit peturbed," I say, "ever since I was told I have to be scoped, and the subsequent arguement where you made me cry, mom."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were over that." God, I was until everyone started picking on me about where a DOG TOY CAME FROM, you assholes.

then, of course my sister didn't know about any of this, so my mom told her about what had happened. Then, she starts telling my sis about what a jerk I (IN HER OPINION) was to the dr. about the scoping.

then, I say I wasn't a jerk to him, and of course mom says I was, and the whole other arguement from before starts up again. Finally, I'm like, "You know what? Let's just drop it. You made me cry last time." And she was like, "No I didn't, YOU made yourself cry."

You know, if I fucking wanted to make myself cry, I'd be even more fucked up than I already am.

So we start arguing over whether or not she made me cry. Over whether or not she made me cry! God, I just want to be left alone at that point.

So I went to my room in the middle of this arguement, and slam the door (which I haven't done since junior high) and sit in my room.

When I leave to use the bathroom, my mom comments, "The dog (also visiting) doesn't like it when you shut yourself away in your room."

FUCK THE DOG. I'M SICK OF THE DOG. People love that dog more than me. They love a DOG, more than me. It's not even their own dog. I wish I were that dog. Then people'd love me. Then I could do whatever the hell I want, because whenever he does anything wrong, "he's just a puppy and doesn't no any better." He's an okay dog, but they love him more thgan me. They love Apolo Ohno, someone they've never met, more than me. Do I have to become a world class speed skater for them to watch me when I open my damn birthday presents? God, now I'm sobbing so hard I can't even type anymore. They've gone to farm and fleet, and i'm here with the dog. Maybe he'll love me.

I have to plug my friend's new online Advice Column. She really needs people to go over there and ask her questions, otherwise it's kind of pointless. So go to:

ASK MINERVA

Now!

Well, while 20 will always be known to me as "that birthday where my family paid more attention to my sister's dog and Apolo Ohno than me," it was still halfway salvageable.

1) I got a watch from my roommate, so I have two now. And I wear both of them around. Honestly.
2) I graffitied a bathroom stall (someone had already did it a long time ago, but it was wearing off, so really I just darkened in another's graffiti) and took a photo of it with my new camera. I must've seemed like a real freak, because you can hear the camera going off in the bathroom stall. And when I was leaving, I almost ran into a girl while still wearing two watches, a satisfied smirk, and a camera around my neck. Fun. And really, I think I'm turning into a juvenile delinquent, because I get the same high I do as when I would erase the "CL" on "Class" under my neighbors names on their dry erase board last semester.

Today started out promising.

1) Went and turned in my application to become mass com major
2) Went and applied for Information Systems minor. The ACS (Applied Computer Science) advisor was actually stunningly competant. I appreciate that.
3) Took a photo of the "Robert G. Bone Hand of Friendship" statue from this one angle that I walk by it at all the time, where it looks like it's giving me the finger.
4) Attempted a photo of a squirrel, didn't work so well.
5) Lunch at the potato bar!
6) Dropped English History!

7) Late to come down when my mom picks me up for stomach dr.'s appointment
8) got bitched out. "Come down RIGHT now" "I will." "come down right now" over and over. Dude, I can get down there faster w/o sitting around listening to you telling me to come down.
9) Went there. Dr. seemed leaning towards an ass scoping in the near future.
10) not so happy about that
11) Mom picks a fight about this because she thinks I was rude to the guy about it.
12) She makes me cry, as well as pressuring me to have it during spring break.
13) Come home in tears, roommate comforts me. Buys me rootbeer. I lay in fetal position hugging stuffed dog drinking root beer as best as possible in the fetal position.

Uhm......yea

Since I'm too lazy to blog this conventionally, I'm copying and pasting part of a conversation I'm having on AIM to bloggerbot, so if it sounds like I'm talking to someone, yea, I am.

just came back from hanging out with my family [For my birthday]. It was somewhat depressing. It was my birthday and they STILL paid more attention to the dog to me. AND, the olympics. LIke, when I was opening my gifts, they're all like "Oooh, Apollo Ohno's on!" and didn't even look at me, they were glued to the tube.

And afterwards, there wasn't really much to do, and I went into another room, and no one even noticed for a long time, and then my sis eventually did, but the rents didn't

(other person): ahh well did you at least get good food?

yea. Mmmm cheese fries. And steak. And, I got this brownie thing for free cos it's my birthday

(op): cool they didn't sing to you did they?

heh, I think at that place they will, but my mom asked them not to

(op) aww did you want them to sing to you?

not really, but I almost said "sing to me" just because I was thinking, "isn't this my decision?" :P

....listing what I got, ending with: Camera--for my trip, whee!

......which my mom took a photo of the dog with

(op): you get a camera for your birthday and your mom whips it out to take pictures of the dog and not you?

Uhm.....yep

Oh, and here's a test I took. I originally ended up Succubus ("You're a better ride than pegasus"--especially funny because I got it off of british nutter's blog, and she came up with pegasus)--don't ask me how. But publishing was down, and I had to take it again, and ended up with:


Take the What Mythical Creature are You? test.

Which I am ultimately more happy with :)

And also, I have to plug my friend's new online Advice Collumn. She really needs people to go over there and ask her questions, otherwise it's kind of pointless. So go to:

ASK MINERVA

Now!

Welp, I think I'm going to skip philosophy today. 1) I want to get a shower in 2) Man that class blows.

Rationalization aside... Here's my day, Yesterday:

I saw my High School French teacher and a couple people I had in that class. That was fun.

I went out to declare my Major. Which, in order to do so, I have to plan out when exactly I expect to take what. Down to the last detail. Which sucks, because 1) Their filthy smeg of an advisor is supposed to help me with that, but I am forced to do it myself, and honestly--I'm not smart enough for that. 2) If I want to take anything over the summer I have to say so which is difficult because a) the catalogue that says what is offered in the summer isn't available for a few months, which I don't have enough time to wait for that and b) our filthy corrupt smegging bastard of a governor raised taxes and still couldn't make the budget, so now they're pulling money out of a lot of state funded things, including *surprise surprise* Education. Which means ISU is hard up for cash and can't offer many summer classes, so if something's usually available, I can't take that into account. (By the way, ISU would be better served if they stopped their damn "beautification" (ripping up campus to put weird statues that don't look good anyway) or building the new rec (the old one is far away--which is stupid of them to build it there in the first place. People who need excercise so badly should just stop whining and take the damn bus)

Also, I have to write a paper on why I want to be a mass communication major. What is it about academia that makes them make you beg for them to take you in? God, I don't want to beg them, any more than I wanted to beg ISU to take me in the first place. The fact that I went out to see their filthy smeg of an advisor (to give her her props, she's far better than my last filthy smeg of an advisor) in the pouring rain should be proof enough that I want to be in their stupid major. That, and laboriously planning my plan thingy. Enough work, I have plenty. Plus, what am i going to say? About the only thing I can think of to justify my choice whenever anyone asks why is: "Take back the radio!" accompanied by the "Rock n' Roll!!!" sign, and perhaps followed by a what-what?, woo-woo!, ow-ow!, or whoooo!, if I'm feeling especially frisky.

AND, i'm trying to drop my English History class, but the filthy smeg of a professor (who I need to get to sign a slip before I can drop it) was not there during his office hours, tho' I had trekked through the pouring rain to get there. Grrrrr....

On a bright note....today is my birthday! Yeeeea!

Oh, and also, I've found out that to major in mass communications I'm required to have a minor outside the communication department. (Translation: no one will hire you with a Major in mass communication, so you better minor in something useful as a backup)

I'm thinking of maybe Applied Computer Science.

This one idiot told me to minor in acting. Did he NOT get the part about minoring in something useful? And I suck majorly at acting. Well, acting out Yertle The Turtle with a bunch of druggies, anyway. But my high school drama class is a whole other story......

I Wash My Hands of Kool-Aid Though the Stain Remains

I was thinking of doing a good, solid piece on music for alternatune, but 1) no one reads them and 2) I have a headache so I'm not putting out the effort.

Hunh. I wonder if I get any hits from people searching for "putting out."

ooh, there I did it again. Putting out, putting out, putting out!

Anyhoos....today: semi-interesting. At least as interesting as my life gets without something horrible happening. And since I'm not pro something horrible happening...

1) I'm attempting to declare a major in Mass Communications. I called up the department, got their machine, and ended up begging unabashedly for an advisors appointment in order to declare my major before I have to select classes, because otherwise I can't get into any classes. Then, I got a call back to call another number, and start "Grovelling" (as my roommate puts it) badly enough that my roommate starts giggling, which gets me to giggling, which makes it sound as if I'm not serious about the appointment, which I am, I'm desperate enough to be groveling, for heaven's sake. But, I don't blame her. Groveling is pretty funny, especially from me, because I have an attitude problem, and my come-uppance must be amusing. I mean, I was practically this close licking the phone and singing like that scene in Happy Gilmore, when his girlfriend leaves him.

2) Almost killed myself in Philosophy class. Whoever told that woman that teaching = reading handouts aloud in excruciating detail deserves the death of a thousand cuts. And, since I don't want to be branded as the one who always leaves in the middle of class, I stuck it out this time. Oy.... Mental anguish so intense that it was this close to actual physical pain. I actually listened to my headphones the last five minutes of class because I couldnt' stand it anymore.

3) Western Civ - Alright. We saw part of a movie.

4) Psych - took a test. Better than his lectures. Thiiiiiink I did alright....

5) Although I'm still out of a job, Monica wants to know if I'll work over spring break. What balls that woman must have...."Yea, screw you on the whole working during the semester thing, but I need people for break, you game?" Sadly, I AM her whore, and know it, because I am running back like a proper whore. I need the money, man. I figure, sure, my spring break will suck, but I'm earning money for summer and England, which will rock, so it's worth it. Plus, it's a good way to avoid an ass-scoping over break.

6) Attempted to dye my hair, inspired by the finding of Kool Aid I had bought for the purpose months ago and then promptly lost. Kool-Aid makes a nice drink, but as a hair dying method, it sucks. The last attempt at blue streaks yielded pale green splotches. Today, I sport a slightly pinkish streak, which is an improvement I guess. Despite the fact my sheets look like I bled on them now.

Why, you ask, do I continue to use kool-aid? The people at hair salons look at me like I'm an alien when I ask about blue dye. That isn't even the worst though. This woman at wal-mart reacted to the question, "Is there any blue hair dye around here?" as if I had asked, "Hey, could you tell me where the guns and liquor are?" It cracks me up/annoys me, because I really don't look like a badass or anything. If I ever do get my hair dyed properly, I should come back and ask the lady where the liquor and firearms are. If possible, I should carry in a stereo 80's style with Limp Bizkit or Eminem playing as loud as possible. I'm sure I could get myself kicked out/make the first step to a satisfying police record. I'm sure I could up the demographic corellation of badasses and colored hair. And everyone knows rock and rap makes people badasses. Because Wal Mart already thinks I'm a druggie from the time I went there to apply for a job and got the date wrong and told them I like rock music. Boycott Wal-mart!

7) Lying down funny to let the pinkishness soak in gave me a headache. I get too many headaches from my neck not being exactly where it wants to be, dammit.

Because Dilbert's Funny, But Not if You're Living it

After years and years of agonizing over this, I think I've decided to major in Mass Media. Applause

This is because everyone I know (well...actually everyone who knows me. knows me) says I should be a DJ. Or otherwise affiliated with the Radio industry. Why?

Because I love music, and that's what I talk about. Details about artists, trends I notice in radio. This has been looking me straight in the face for years now, but I've not thought of it. Seriously, anyway. Who majors to be a DJ? But then I realized I could work behind the scenes. Maybe even.....*shivers happily* on content. DJ's don't really get a heap of a say. I could shape the minds of the listening public! Well...maybe not. But I'd still get to work with music, which is seemingly the one thing in my life that I'm at all enthusiastic about. And mass media works with TV, too, if I go insane and decide I don't like music. I'm not so big on TV, but I think I'll kind of like it no matter what.

Plusses to majoring in mass media: My trip to england this summer is communication credit.
Minuses: Not sure about the job outlook

My mom want's me to major in business or computers. Obviously, I like computers. But not if my livelihood depends on them. They can be extremely frustrating when they don't work properly, and you're depending on them. Business: ew. just, ew. I don't want to work with numbers, and I don't want to work in a cube. Dilbert is funny, but not if you're living it.

I think this is mainly because she wants me to work at State Farm, who's corporate headquarters are here, and never move away. But, she seems to understand. Because I was like, "What if I don't want to work at State Farm?" She told me to do what I want to do, what I would like doing. Thank you, Mom.

"Make them open the request line,
let selection kill the old
take back the radio"

I changed the rocks to planets. Well, planets, Sol, and a nebula.

"The cruelest lies are often told
without a word
the kindest truths are often spoke
and never heard"

As if I wasn't depressed enough.....

A couple months ago I discovered The Bitter Single Guy. It's a kind of funny love advice column webpage.

And, in one of my moments of extremely stupid temporary insanity, I sent an E-mail question in. I was like, what's the worse that can happen? He'll tell me guys'll like me in a couple more years, like every freaking one else has every year since I hit puberty? I can handle that. But no, I look even more pathetic. And in another round of stupidness, I'm posting my question and answer, although it's embarrassing enough that it's like on the top of his page already.

Question:

Dear Bitter Single Guy,

I have recently discovered your site, and its awesome! Anyway, I wondered if the BSG had any advice for me.

I'm a pathetic loser. I am 20, and no guy has ever asked me on a date. More than that, I'm not even friends with any guys. It's like they avoid me. I don't even know too many guys who are even acquaintances. I'm too shy to ask anyone out that I barely know, and as I don't know many guys.... No one even ever comes on to me. Well, there was this one time in Geology last semester. The guy said I was "precious." But then, one time we were watching a tour group, and he started making aroused cat noises, right in front of me, which I think cancels out the precious thing. He was pretty annoying anyway, he never let me get a word in edgewise.

I know I'm not ugly. I've known far uglier people than me who get dates. I know my personality is a bit quirky, but guys online hit on me all the time.... Most of them are kind of weird, but...... So, this is probably pretty hard to answer, seeing as you don't know me, but I thought I'd give it a try: "why don't guys like me?"

Man Repellent

Answer:

Dear M.R.,

The Bitter Single Guy's heart goes out to your date-less self! It's NEVER good to identify as a pathetic loser! Here's the good news, M.R., at 20, this probably seems like a life ending crisis, but the B.S.G. can tell you that it's not. You will not believe this until you have a few years under your belt, but there it is.

The B.S.G. has one quick thought before rendering his judgment (the B.S.G. is a great fan of Judge Hatchett these days). Don't be so quick to write off Geology Boy. Late teen and early twenty-somethings aren't known for eloquence and all this annoying behavior may be his expression of affection. Or not.

M.R., the Bitter Singe Guy's best advice is to seek the advice of someone closer to you. Based solely on your typing (which seems fine to the B.S.G.) the B.S.G. is hard pressed to tell you why guys don't like you. He suspects, however, that it won't last. Guys, as a rule, aren't terribly discriminating (not to diminish the value of your unique qualities, M.R.!).

Just a final thought because he is interested in leaving no stone unturned. The B.S.G. wonders if the lack of response by boys to your charms is due to some attraction to your own gender? Stranger things have happened! The Bitter Single Guy himself wondered why more girls didn't like him as a late teen, only to find that he really didn't like them either. Just a thought, M.R.

B.S.G.

1) They make you use lame names, so don't blame me for using guy repellant
2) I'm NOT gay, and if I was I bet I couldn't get women either
3) I should settle for anyone, even annoying losers? Because believe me, Geology creep was an ass. I knew him about a year ago, and if I see him downstairs in the dining center I STILL avoid him.

Does my mom have it out for me? And I quote:

"If they decide to scope your colon, we should try and make the appointment for spring break, so we can fit it into your schedule easier."

DEAR LORD. She wants me to spend my spring break getting my ass scoped???? Ah, motherly love.

This is after 3 years ago when she made me get my wisdom teeth out during break, which I got to spend in agony, because they didn't give me strong enough pain drugs afterwards.

I'm beginning to think she really has it in for me. I mean, really....

"What did you do for spring break?"

"I visited my grandparents in Missouri!"

"I went to Fort Lauderdale!"

"I stayed home and chilled!"

"I got my ass scoped!"


I'm fighting it tooth and nail.

Aww.....I'm disapointed, no one's clicked my "donate oral sex" link yet. I thought of donating myself oral sex, just to see how it works, but then I thought, okay, that's kind of pathetic.

Oh, and I'm putting up one of those things where it's an egg that eventually hatches, just for the hell of it, and I've decided I'm especially a dork, because instead of a pretty one, I'm going with this "punk" one. What makes me a dork is that even though I love, and identify a bit too closely with the music, any real punk would kick my ass if they knew me :P I'm just hoping the egg hatches into a cute skater or something :P

An old favorite:



I REALLY wanted to get their old banner ad, which was:

STOP

PISSING

YOUR MONEY AWAY

WITH SOLUTIONS THAT DON'T WORK.

And the kicker..... www.urinetheclear.com, on a white field which slowly turns to yellow as a stream of urine fills it up.

Yay! My folks are back from Florida! And they got me stuff!

- Max Rebo Band Tee-shirt. I already have enough Star Wars Tee Shirts to label me as Uber-geek, but I still appreciate this anyway, it's really cool

- SW keychain: ditto

- Ewok Pez dispenser: ditto, but with the added shame of being a pez freak

- Minnie Keychain

-Mickey Tee Shirt

- All sorts of crap from my dad's convention!
- An armchair for the cell phone they let me use. All I need is a mini tv. Alriiiiiight!
- a ball that lights up when it bounces, though it is not very good at bouncing, it lights up nicely
- This weird dart with a sticky end that looks like a little man. you throw it at things, and it sticks to them
- A clock that sticks to walls and things, I guess
- This really tiny radio

- Crazy french mints that taste kind of like licorice, too

- Crazy british fruit candy. From liverpool! Mmm, liverpool.

This picture is from Talia. When she found it (god, or perhaps the dark one, only knows how) she said it reminded me of her, because both it and I are "quirky." I'm taking it as a compliment :P



I should get one of those programs that lets you print pictures onto Tee shirts, so I can walk around with this on me all day. It would fit well with my www.menwholooklikekennyrogers.com tee shirt, and my ever-growing collection of star wars ones :P

Who's fucking pissed off?

Yea, it's me.....

I think i'm out of a job because the bastards at the front desk never told me about a meeting weeks ago..........

See, I thought we just signed up every week or something, because that's what we did the first week after break. I even asked someone if that's what we were going to do (in the communication log) and no one ever answered. But apparently there's a meeting where they determine hours for the semester, and no one fucking told me about it, which means I'm out of a job

And on top of this, the girl I ended up talking to to find out about this is the jerk RA who gave me my undeserved noise violation freshmen year and my deserved lecture for leaving to pee during work a few weeks ago. She's got the most annoying attitude........ My roommate hates her too........ and she was a jerk about this, of course. And, of course, I'm pissed at MONICA, yes, I'm saying her name, (my boss) for not freaking letting me know! Damn them............damn them all! Now I'm not even Monica's whore, I'm like someone who's not good enough to be monica's stupid whore.........

I'm also a bit peeved that my parents and sister, who are living it up in Florida without me right now, who only said like a million times that they'd call me while they were over htere haven't called me, though it's been like a week since they got there.

Good thing: I may not need my lame-ass, fucking-boring, pee-nazi, suckfest, motherfuckingly-incompetant-boss-and coworkers, annoying people to "help, job after all: I had previously been applying for a job as a peer advisor (no, I don't know what they do, but anything's better than my stupid job) and I decided not to do that because I already had a job, so I'm extra pissed, but lately I've been looking into something with ISU's radio station. Sure--no one listens to it, I don't even listen to it, but it could be rewarding. I love music. I had actually thought of joining the WZND team earlier, but was like "they won't let me in." But I 1) hate the job I don't have any more 2) My roommate's prodding (her mission in life is to find me a mission in life) has given me the confidence to investigate. She says I'd be good because I know lots of unknown bands and crap about bands I don't even listen to, and talk about trends in radio and stuff :P So........cross your fingers for me

Good thing: I went out to play pool with my friend Hermione from high school, her boyfriend, and her friend that she was trying to hook up with me. It was fun. I didn't really like the guy all that much, but I liked the pool, and I liked hanging out with Hermione. And my social life is like up three hundred percent, just by going out one night.

I'm becoming a really poor student, too. i haven't done any of my reading for days and days, even though I was already behind from having narcolepsy on that one pill.... Plus 1) I've started napping in classes 2) I skipped psych today because I knew all i'd do is nap in there anyway 3) I walked out in philosophy class today, because she was basically reading her handout in excruciating detail. I went and got myself a smoothie.

Darn me :P I was doing so well last semester, but then I got all boring classes.......

Pong It makes soccer hooligans look like little sissy girls.

Which drink are you?

I'm hurt.

Whoo! 1000 hits today! My friend Talia IM'ed me that she was the 1,000. Otherwise I would've missed the event. Since my little dragon counter is on the bottom now, I forget about it sometimes.

An interesting quote, from Talia. (Partly related to my mom's luggage fixation): "your mom is SO a psychitrist's dream."

Word, Talia. Word.

Wait.......I think the highlight of yesterday was when i was indulging in my propensity for head screwing over the internet, and convinced this one guy that I was a 35 year old podiatrist who has written a highly acclaimed book on foot fungus, and has a hunch back. I eventually felt bad and told him who i really was, though.

I guess I can't resist telling guys I have a hunchback. He's not even the first one. The first one was this guy I convinced I was an aspiring missionary who listens to german hip hop music and has a hunch back. I think that was the most fun--I made up a heap of fake bible verses and quoted them all the time.

I passed out in psych yesterday.

Don't get alarmed, that's just what I call it when I have a nap. This is because I can never nap when I try to, but I'll just like pass out all of the sudden when I'm not trying.

Which I did in psych. And which I do a surprising amount when I'm listening to punk rock. (pop-punk anyway. I've passed out listening to Greenday, MXPX, Blink 182, New Found Glory, and more. I'm strangely proud)

One minute I had my head on the desk, and the next, class was almost over. Then I went home and tried to take a real nap, and was thwarted.

I'd have to say one of the highlights yesterday was at the end of Western Civ. when the overhead projector screen almost hit my prof like 3 times. Like, one half fell, and it started swinging, and another one of the swings almost got him. Then, when the swinging was almost done, the other end fell off with a clatter. Then he was like, "Go home!"

And when I was leaving, I could hear him saying, "Now how many faculty does it take to put up an overhead projector screen....."

I like that guy. He's like the only decent professor I have this semester. He gets excited about his topic, which is a nice cure for the ennui that blankets most things in this place. We were talking about the benefits of livestock at the end of the middle ages, and someone mentioned manure is fertilizer, and he was like "Yea! Farm animals crap all over the place!"

My other classes.......shoot me now

"What do you do when you're just another ancient drag queen?"

Bleed from my arm......

Won't they give it a rest now?

Man......I think it says something scary about you when you keep a "value size" thing of Immodium in your sock drawer.

Which I do.

Damn International Block Scheduling! (IBS)

God I'm miserable.....

:-/ The school system sucks.... I was talking to this guy from Canada (which I had previously thought was like the most wholesome country in the world) and I feel SO bad for him now.....I never knew how lucky I was to be in a small midwestern town school....

And Yea, I realize how stupid most of my comments sound. But what can you say to some of this?

Him: I actually can see an old local KKK house a few blocks away from my house, it's a burnt shell. =P
Me: Ah. My town is pretty much whiteyville USA. But I don't think we have any KKK houses. Peoria (south of us) has a racist group called Church of the Creator, though, and the head guy is always visiting us to spread his filth

Not us personally, us as a town

Creepy
Him: I know police officers by name at my school. They come everyday to make a sweep of arrests.
Me: We had a D.A.R.E. officer at my school.

But then he got arrested for drug abuse

then the next one we got was creepy, he was a touchy feely type *shivers*

And then in high school, we eventually got a cop guy hanging around. Like.....you didn't even need a pass most times, when I started high school, but by after columbine we had hidden cameras and a cop and stuff

Heh, I was a senior by then, though, and a teacher's pet, so i could walk around wherever I wanted even w/o a pass, and no one would give me trouble. We had drug sniffing dogs every month or so..... That's always been that way, tho'
Him: Ah.
Me: we started getting bomb threats senior year too. Well, our school was pretty wholesome, because it was built in the middle of a corn field
Him: Our school is awful. You walk along the edges of the hallways, because you know someones bleed, or vomitted over most of the middle of the hallways.
Me: yuck

Our problem was overcrowding, you'd have to shove your way thru the hallway
Him: Gang brawls are close to real sports events at our school
Me: Yuck. I've seen a few fist fights, but no gang fights
Him: So is the "Drink as much as you can and see how long it takes before security finds you" game. That should be an Olympic event. Soft, blue fuzzy pants get you hospitalized. So does your birthday.
Me: Uhm, why fuzzy pants? And birthdays?
Him: For some reason, people wearing blue fuzzy pants get their ass kicked.

Majorly. And Birthday Beats...I won't go there.
Me: ah. Maybe it's a "gay" thing. This one guy got the hell beat out of him last year on our campus because he was wearing a shiney silver shirt, and they thought he was gay. Ironically, he was on his way to visit his girlfriend
Me: Aww.......that's HORRIBLE. Do you skip on your birthday?
Him: I've never told anyone when my birthday is. I've seen some guys who try to get out of school at the end of their day, on their birthday. True story...the guy ran straight into traffic and got hit by a car rather than stay behind and let the fifty black guys chasing him have a go at him. Guns aren't allowed on school property. But you can smuggle in switchblades pretty easily. Our security guard got fired for having sex with students...so...we don't have one anymore.
Me: Ew.......

Yea, I have a little knife on my keychain, and whenever I'd have my keys out, people'd all act like I was a maniac or something, and to hide it from the teachers. Pfft, like I go around showing teachers my keys anyway. But yea, it's sad when they consider something like that a threat, and they can't even catch switchblade. Jesus......do your parents know what that school's like?
Him: Yep.

They don't like it.

But that's okay.

Because I found a way out of dying.

I broke the auditorium back door slightly. Now I skip classes in there with my friends. Saves me from being in the middle of gang-brawls and indoor snowball fights.
Me: that's a relief......... that school worries me
Him: We stopped having spirit assemblies. We had a riot last time we held one for the football team.
Me: :-/ ......yech

Though pep rallys suck anyway
Him: Yeah.
Me: how many years do you have left?
Him: Someone set off some dynamite two weeks ago in the football field.
Me: Jesus.....
Him: Two.

He blew a nice sized crater in the ground. The janitorial staff quit their jobs.
Me: I hope you graduate as soon as possible.....
Me: No wonder, with all the puke and stuff......
Him: Our bathrooms are puddles of urine.
Me: :-/

And that reminds me of a conversation I had once with this guy from SC. His jaw was actually broken by a group of thugs. And that's not the half of what happend to him..... And I made some smartass comment about how I was glad I was a girl, because they never get beat up in school, and he told me how some girl had gotten raped in a bathroom where he went to school.

Jesus.....I never knew how well I had it. I should stop pissing and moaning about ISU so much......

But he said bah, it doesn't matter to that, so I feel like less of an ass :P

My friend is obsessed with sparking pigs!

I have a lot of pervy friends

Actual sentence from my roommate's russian history book:

"She was very attractive, in a buxom, Slavic sort of way."

It's like they know me!

Should I be offended?





Heh, the most bizzare part, is that if I change my favorite color to green instead of red, I get this:

According to The Barrow Downs, my Middle Earth names are:

Orc name: Thrakburz the Mucous

Hobbit name: Marigold Bunce from Bywater

Elf Name:
Root: Culwath
Female: Culwathiel
Culwathien
Culwathwen

Dwarf Name: Tarin Orcmallet

What would I be?: According to the ancient scrolls of the
Red Book of Westmarch

Phoe was a Irritating Goblin


Niiiiiiiiiiiice.

Welp, haven't posted in awhile. Part laziness, part busyness, shake then stir.

I'm a bit worried this morning. When I wake up, sometimes I'm a bit dizzy, but it isn't wearing off today.

IBS update: Not doing the best, but better than I was. AND, I'm going to start calling it Spastic Colon (SP), that's classier ;) Sadly, I actually found myself conversing about this with a former geology teacher. AND, my mom started quizzing me about it over dinner last night :-/

Slept twelve hours last night, and still, sadly: tired. Note to self: investigate possibility of anemia

This morning, I had to wait around at the "bakery" in the dining center for my bagel. The doughnuts, and nearly everything else there is self-serve, but the bagels aren't ("They're smart enough to retrieve their own dougnuts and brownies, but I seriously doubt they could get something so complex as a piece of (pre-cut) pie or their own damn bagel"). No one was around to get me one :( I thought of yelling "Who do you have to sleep with around here to get a bagel? really loudly, but then I thought better of it.

They spelled Knack wrong in that care bear thing. I think that's enough to overthrow the decision that I'm so damned grumpy.

Though I was grumpy when I took the test *shrugs*

I am doing better though.

My roommate and I have reconciled
I'm feeling a BIT less puky, though I'm still having mondo stomach problems
I've just discovered what a great movie Sense and Sensibility is!
Boring philosophy class was canceled to-day

And on another note: someone cleaned the puke out from in front of the bookstore, though the stain of it still remains. I'm sure that's a metaphor for something

See what Care Bear you are.

Awwww.... :P

My god this is funny. Make sure to read the product description.

Wah, my life is sucking right now, with a capital SUCK.

1) Work sucks
2) School sucks
3) Irritable Bowel Syndrome sucks. I keep getting worse and worse diahrea. Also, my parents are always "casually" mentioning how much it would suck to go to a foreign country (believe me, going to England this summer is practically the only thing keeping me from ending it all) and have diahrea all the time.
4) Medication for IBS sucks. Right now I'm on this thing that practically gives me narcolepsy, so I'm like dying to sleep in all of my classes, and all I can think of when I get back to my room is going to bed, which leaves me mondo behind on the 19 FREAKING BOOKS I HAVE TO READ THIS SEMESTER. Also, the IBS medication is making me worse. I haven't really puked since 6th grade, and I walked by the bookstore last night, and hurled on the sidewalk. Twice. And disgustingly, I had to leave it there, because it's not like I carry around stuff to clean up my own vomit. And I didn't exactly want to run into the bookstore and be like, "I puked on your sidewalk! Clean it up!"
5) Having a roommate that hates you sucks. I asked her to not use the snooze alarm anymore (to give her credit, she only hits it once) because she has to wake up way earlier than me, and I can't go back to sleep after she does this, I'm sort of an insomniac. She exploded, listing everything annoying that I do. And what especially gets me, is she is SO self righteous. So self righteous that, when I promised not to do most of the things she finds annoying anymore, she was still angry, and doesn't sound like she'll stop with the snooze alarm hitting. Plus, it's pretty sad when the only friend you have is pissed at you.

I had a good cry this morning.

Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

thespark.com intelligence test:

Your results have been tabulated, and your IQ is...

97
That's below average. Here's how you compare to the other people your age who've taken the IQ test:




people dumber than you (45%)
people as smart as you (2%)
people smarter than you (53%)

(based on 538,914 total submits)


Your total time was: 18 minutes and 12 seconds.
The average person like you takes 25:57.
The highest score recorded by someone your age is 215.
At your age, girls are stupider than boys.

thespark.com purity test

You are 75% Pure!
(Very interesting.)




Here's how the REST of the world breaks down, compared to you:




people less pure than you (83%)
people like you (1%)
people more pure than you (16%)

It seems I am not long for this world (death test at thespark.com) :P

Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:


May 12, 2002
at the age of 20 years old.


On that date you will most likely die from:

Cancer (19%)
Contagious Disease (15%)
Homicide (9%)
Suicide (7%)
Third Degree Burns (6%)
Electrolysis (6%)
Confusion (5%)


10400181 people have taken the DeathTest.
Of those, 54% were female and 46% were male.
The average life expectancy of test takers is 67 years.
10% of test takers have hairy nipples.
4% have had team sex.
8% work in the porn business.
And 173697 people claim to have leprosy.

thespark.com's pregnancy test

According to our analysis, you are not currently pregnant. During your life, you'll have:

3 children.

Here are some stats about your next one:


Sex: female
Birth weight: 7 lbs. 9 oz.
Length at birth: 8 inches
Chance of mangling birth-defect: 10%
Most likely defect: old-age

I must have triplets from that one fateful encounter at the hotel

Thespark.com un-telligence test

The Test Results Are In! "You are a smooth chick."




You have a knack for greatness. For the record,you are:

81% Un-telligent!
which is significantly higher than the current average of 60%



Here is the custom report of your personality that led our team of geeks to conclude (with confidence) that you are resourceful and sly woman:

"Interesting. While the subject shows an above average level of intelligence, her sense of observation is somewhat below average. We attribute this to the egotistical nature of the subject. Actually, rats behave in the same manner, but she's smarter than any animal.

"Also, as much as we hate violence, an occasional mauling is one way to solve day-to-day problems like unpleasant coworkers or pesky door-to-door salesmen; she just isn't tough enough, sir, and she avoids any solution that involves violence.

"Finally, the subject displayed a insane and twisted (rather brilliant) sense of humor, a decent and respectable sense of morality, and a hot shot self-confidence. The balance of these three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest individuals."

Final Score: 81% Un-telligent

thespark.com sex test results

Congrats! In your life, you'll have sex with


1 person!

And you'll first have sex at age 20,
in a hotel room.


The info on your 1 future sex partner(s):
0 of them will be female
1 of them will be male
And you will actually love 1 of them!
You have a 71% chance of dying during sex.

I'm almost 20, it's my year, baybee

8,185,935 people have taken The SexTest

55% of all test takers are female, and 45% are male.

-36% are virgins.

6% are married.

70% believe in love at first sight.

31% of all Star Trekkies are virgins.

thespark.com wealth test

Congratulations! Based on inflation, taxes, the anticipated world economy, melting icecaps, free love, the global yeast war of 2017, the Canadian depression of 2021, and your personal financial outlook, you can expect to be worth one million dollars at...


43 years old!


This is how you'll make (or lose) big bucks during your very eventful life. Match these events on your personal timeline with the graph to see their effects.


2004: Armed robbery turns hot lead to gold.

2006: Too many babies! Sex gets expensive!

2011: Kung-Fu impresses all the rich hos.

2014: A high-level magic-user steals your treasure horde. Your long sword with flametongue is useless when he casts "Freeze Balls".

"Hi, I'm Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, noted crap-monger, and star of TV's Melrose Place. I'm also a psychic. Anyway... I predict that your first million dollars will be made in 2022, in the following ways: "

$156,000 begging in the streets.

$152,000 being a star.

$96,000 criminal mischief.

$357,000 working 9 to 5.

$92,000 'working' between the sheets.

$147,000 hunting/gathering.

thespark.com

Greedy Animal! You are...
47% greedy!


In addition, we have determined that for a small bribe of 191 bucks, you'd spread a jar mayonnaise in your underwear and wear it for a month straight.

Good luck with your future life.




Of the 1,358,131 test takers so far:


8% are as greedy as you.
37% are less greedy than you.
55% are greedier than you.

And according to the GreedTest...

Coupon users are more likely to steal.

Republicans are less likely to commit dog-murder.

Hookers are more likely to know the value of a dollar.

Homeless people are more likely to work at TheSpark.

I am not likely to ever get rid of this rash.

MORE thespark.com

The results are in. You are certifiably:

21% bitch!
which is lower than the worldwide average 38%

How others compare:
1% (same as you)
7% (less bitchy than you)
92% (bitchier than you)

More from thespark.com

src="http://test3.thespark.com/sa/slut5.gif>

The results are in! You are


5% slutty
which is actually less than the average, 46%.


Based on the 5,157,754 test takers so far:
you're sluttier than 1% of the world.
you're cleaner than 99% of the world.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FACT
0 women agreed with you, and chose "Alexander Hamilton (i Find Federalists Irresistable)" as the best sex option of all time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FACT
So far, the most popular place to lick lubricated men is below the right nipple.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE NUMBER ONE THING THE AVERAGE WOMAN DISLIKES ABOUT HER OWN LOOKS
--her face--


The results are in. You are certifiably:


22% bastard!
12% of which is Tard



The worldwide average is 44% bastard.


How others compare:
1% (same as you)
7% (less bastard than you)
92% (more bastard than you)

The most bastardly age group so far is 27 year olds. 27 year olds average 46% bastard.
Guys who like the taste of coffee are more likely to cheat on their girlfriends.
Men who have been with prostitutes have more smelly armpits.
Catholics are more likely to spit on you.
Dirtbags who like childporn should burn in hell.

All of the following are from thespark.com



You have it easy. You exhibit a stress percentage of


30%

which is well below average. Quite likely, you are lazy and retarded.

Your Stress Test answers indicate that to reduce your stress level even further you should eliminate at least one of the following from your life immediately:

Mom or Dad, you choose.
or
consciousness.


Jesus.....I'm afraid......

You are 35% GAY!



That's gayer than average for someone of your gender and supposed orientation. The typical straight female is only 32% gay!

people less gay than you (69%)
people just as gay as you (2%)
people gayer than you (27%)

The Gay Test is actually four tests in one (to account for the possible combinations of genders and orientations). The stats below are compiled from all takers.
The world-wide gayness average is 37%.
11% of all test takers describe themselves as gay.
24 is the gayest age.
Women average 33% gay.
Men average 40%.


But, thankfully, in the gender test, they CAN tell I'm a woman:



How do we know? Well, deep down, your gender affects everything about you, from your favorite number to your views on Canada. Many women who took the test think and act just like you, as you can see from the clusters above.

Statistically speaking, you are a chick.

-- So Far, The Gender Test Has Learned --

Men prefer falling over drowning to death.

Women really hate the word "used".

Women are more likely to realize that clams
are alive (89%) than men (only 87%).

hmm....I should stop taking tests where I don't know anything about the subject......




Waste 5 minutes of your life with
the QuasiGoth Dead Person Test!

Take the Which Beatle Are You? Quiz.


CONGRATULATIONS! While your fellow band members have aged terribly from a combination of the barrage of drugs they did in their youth, and the toll of extreme success, YOUR looks haven't changed in the least since you were FIVE YEARS OLD!

Our sources indicate you will someday be the last surviving Beatle, and may in fact live forever. Although your singing and songwriting talents weren't quite on par with the rest of the boys, your drumming suited the band quite well and your sanity and niceness were what kept the Beatles together as long as they were. So be proud of your Ringoness!

Although most know you only by the size and shape of your nose, you're actually a very three-dimensional character (haha, get it?), who enjoys wholesome activities such as being a good sport while others make fun of you, acting, chocolate pudding, and pillow fights.

LOL.....the one for george is really nice, but the ones for john and paul are kinda mean. :P You should check out the other answers after you take the test if you take it--the "fifth beatle" and "yoko" ones are hilarious

I don't watch anime, but I took an "what evil anime char are you?" test anyway.

Check it out, man! Are you a villain?

You're not a villain at all. You do fight against good guys, but only for your personal goal- which is usually a long-term jealousy against the fiancee of what should be YOUR true love. You'd be a little more effective in stealing this love if you didn't get lost so damn easily

You will marry NEO (played by Keanu Reeves) from The Matrix, live in a big metal ship trying to escape from a world controlled by computers, and spend your days travelling through phone lines, hacking into the Matrix, and dodging bullets in slow motion.

What's YOUR M * A * S * H future?

Dude....

MenWhoLookLikeKennyRodgers.com

I SO need to buy a www.menwholooklikekennyrodgers.com tee shirt :P

At least I'm......

I am 6% Tool.




Yes! I am a smart person! I have a right to laugh at those losers that try to make themselves look cool because I know better. They are all just insecure pricks anyway.



Are you a tool? find out at Hilowitz.com

I am 5% skater.




I may think I am 5% skater but I am truly a POSER! I don't even own a skateboard, and yet I pretend I really am a skater. Worse yet I might be a Fruit Booter. Either that or I don't claim to be a skater, i'm just took this test for fun, in which case i have an excuse.


Take the Skater test at Hilowitz.com



Aww.....I was a poser for Punk or Poser too.
But that was more disappointing because I care about punk rock, but I'm not into skating :P

I am 14% evil.




I try to stay away from evil deeds but succumb to temptation every once in a while. I'm not quite on my way to hell but I certainly have some explaining to do.


Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com

Being Karen means that you have a strong appetite for everything that is luxurious. You depend on the support of your house maid for bringing you all the things you ever wanted. You married a rich man hoping he'd make you a wealthy widdow but are now stuck with 2 little children. The only thing left is putting down other people whilst you give into your obsession with shoes and alcohol

Everybody can Ace shop, that's what Brian thought... Though wasn't it hte ceramic elephent that gor him into detention in the first place?
Brian Johnson is one of those smart kids that is known, simply, for being smart...a nerd. . He has a lot of pressure on his shoulders, from his parents, his mother even makes him study when he's in detention.
The chance that he may not get straight A's is a very scary prospect to him...

Anthony Michel Hall was one of those Nerdy looking guys that turned out quite allright in the end. He now has played on over 20 movies amongst which Edward Scissorhands in which he plays the asshole.

Okay, I've no idea who Eddie Izzard is, but I saw this on the ho's site, and I had to take it, plus my addiction to tests......


Which Izzard Are You?

Kid Izzard: You still find a way to look at life in an innocent way, even though those around you marvel at your naive opinions. But the world wasn't made just for the grown-ups around you, so dodge your subway fare and get the most out of life!